Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Going home? Here's the 'to-do' list

Appropriate blog posts when you're T-48 hours Stateside? Talk about the things I'm most excited for back in the US. It also takes extra special meaning when I only have a month to enjoy! This post is far from complaints- I really do like it here in Tajikistan- but there are some things you just can't get here!

Food deserves a separate heading because, well, I'm a fat kid. If you're uninterested in reading about what I'll be dining on when I get home, you can also conveniently skip over this section.

1) Portillo's
-I'm sure this comes as no surprise. And really there's not much to be said here.

2) Pizza 

3) Deep Dish 

4) Spicy giardinaira
-Hordes of it. I will put it on everything. Seriously. Everything. 

5) Chipotle
-Extra carnitas, please. Can I get bacon with that too?
-Tajikistan is a majority Muslim country. 'Nuff said! 

7) Taco Bell
-I'm not really why but I've been really craving TBell. It seems awfully strange, especially because you might think I've had all the 'mystery meat' I could handle in the past two months... but, alas. I'll take the taco box.

8) McDonald's Sweet Tea and Apple Pie
-Say what you want, but it's genetically engineered to taste perfect. 

9) Starbuck's cake pops (and a dirty iced vanilla chai tea latte)
-Because coffee is 'instant' and all cakes are dry in Tajikistan (remember?).

10) This:

-The local beer isn't cutting it anymore. (Was it ever?)

Inside the House

1) Drink from the faucet
-I don't even do this usually but the chance to drink water that doesn't make me sick sounds too good to be true.

2) Water pressure
-Do you want to know how to make showers less enjoyable? Make the water pressure super low.

3) Water that doesn't smell like Tajikistan
-It's really not a negative that the water here smells like Tajikistan. It's just how it works. But seriously? I'd like to get out of the shower and not smell like TJ. 

4) Eat a meal in peace
-I'm not trying to banish all conversation at the dinner table... but if I could just have ONE MEAL where no one asks me if I want more, questions why I didn't eat three servings worth, etc. I really wouldn't be upset about it. 

5) Air conditioning
-Not much to say here. Not sweating ALL DAY EVERYDAY is a nice concept. 

6) A dog I can pet
-See: rabies, fleas. 

7) US Outlets
-Sockets that actually hold the plugs in tightly? It's really rather brilliant. 

8) A toilet seat
-My host family possess not a seat toilet, but rather a seat cushion. Wrapped in a carpet. I'd like that good 'ol plastic please. 

-As long as it's not left over party streamers for toilet paper, I'll be happy. 

10) Consistent, stable Internet access
-Not much to explain here.

11) Computers That Work
-Sometimes it feels like the 90s here...

12) Paper Towels
-"But Nick they're wasstefulllllllll... and the enviromentttttt". No. NoNo. Paper towels are convenient and everything you want them to be. 

13) Not being asked why I'm not married at the age of 22
-Because hey, I'd like to wait until I'm older? 

Outside the House

1) The ability to drive
-I'm lazy. I want my car.

2) Safer drivers
-I'm lazy, and I don't want to fear for my life every time I see another driver.

3) Roads that look like... roads
-Say what you want about Illinois' roads. Seriously. I'll take the Pepsi challenge.

4) Clear and known traffic laws
-This is definitely related to number two above and a billion other things I've ever said in this blog. 

5) Sewer systems that are underground
-It's just better this way, trust me.

6) Dogs
-Dogs I can pet (see above). Also, dogs I know have homes and are well fed! 

7) Less Justin Bieber and Pitbull
-It's hard to believe but Tajiks listen to these two goons more than Americans. 

8) Consistent, stable Internet access
-See above. 

9) Not being asked why I'm not married at the age of 22
-Sound familiar?

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