Monday, February 24, 2014

Is 4 meters enough?

My quest of late has been trying to become a real person in life. The list is long, and surprisingly more difficult than you'd imagine, especially when you're living la vida broke. I wanted to share with you the recent things I've accomplished (no small victories, I assure you) and some of those goals still on my list.

Recent Successes 

1) Bought a shower curtain. I guess this is technically a "kind of" success. I should start by saying that there are a number of bazaars in the city and a number of them way the heck outside the city. Well I did not find a shower curtain at the bazaar five minutes from my house, nor at the bazaar five minutes from my work. This meant that I had to go to one of the dreaded bazaars way outside the city. Horrible. So I finally managed to get to one and I found shower curtains. 

I remember arguing with myself beforehand and saying "you should measure, just so you make sure you don't get something too short." But that entailed a whole other issue-- what the heck was I going to measure with?! So I gauged it up and the salesmen at the bazaar proceeded to tell me that this shower curtain bar (you know the thing that holds up the curtain) goes up to 4 meters! Okay. Sure. Sounds like enough to me. 

Except it wasn't. Or rather it was too much. Turns out my shower must be incredibly undersized because I had up beat the bar into place with my fancy tool (the "hand hammer") and even now it's slightly askew and immovable one way or the other. 

At least now I'm not spraying water all over the bathroom when I shower...?

2) A Pasta Strainer. Easily one of the most overlooked things in life, I'd say. The amount of times I actually burned my hands attempting to figure out a way to strain my pasta is a little inexplicable (and embarassing). After all, you know what they say: "you don't need to reinvent the wheel".

Anyways imagine trying to explain a strainer at the bazaar/store when you don't know said word. "Yeah it's that thing that I can use to pour pasta into and then the pasta stays but the water leaks out... This thing." Well it worked after multiple attempts but I don't chalk this up to a linguistic win.

3) A cutting board. Cutting stuff on the counter was beginning to skeeve me out. This was totally a necessary purchase from day one but money matters make you prioritize. 

4) Some Healthier Things. Like bananas. And yogurt. This was more of me being lazy than anything else...

5) A Real Knife. And what a difference it made. By real knife, I of course am not referring to those ridiculous things my mother has in our kitchen (they can cut anything if you just slightly put any pressure on them), but rather something in between a butter knife and my mother's shiny kitchenware.

6) "Toilet Bowl Gel". That lemony scent is from my toilet, because every time you flush (yes, it's working again) water travels into this strange conception which houses this strange, scenty gel. There's a hazard warning in Russian with a picture of a face (including the nose) and I'm hoping that this is in fact warning of ingestion and not smelling the stuff. 

Eventual Acquisitions

 1) A Garlic Press. One can only mince so many gloves of garlic before one loses their mind. I'm rapidly approaching that number.

Obviously life without garlic isn't an answer.

2) Hot Pads. Or whatever those things are called that let you hold hot handles of pots. Seriously I'm going to have asbestos-hands in a month at this rate. Even typing this blog posts is hurting my burns!! 

3) Dish Drying Towels. Air drying is an option but you still need something to air dry dishes on. Remember my counter is skeeving me out so...

4) Shower Mat. My bathroom floor is a continuously dangerous hazard as it is constantly wet from me exiting the shower. 

5) A Well-Stocked Fridge. Just kidding. This is a total pipe dream.

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